concealed love

I was deep in her thoughts over past few days she was never out of my mind her texts,her jokes,her thoughts all had made me melt on her character yes she was my recent crush I called her elastogirl as elastogirl was my favourite action heroine and she did resemble a lot to elastogirl and the other obvious reason was that she was my superheroine for life.
A month ago we met at 'Sahakar' NGO for helping poor and disabled people. I fell deep in her love at her very first glance her long shiny black hair ,sharp glowing face and above all polite and helpful nature was all that made me feel completely drowned in her personality. Then we began texting gradually meeting each other and today was the day I had decided that I am going to confess my love.
At CCD
I was waiting from last 15 minutes I was before time excited and nervous to tell her what I felt for her she came on her Scooty pink top blue jeans perfect hair "hello what are you looking at so meticulously " she said I was out of words eventually but gathering myself up quickly I said "you are looking gorgeous" she gave me a big smile I said "come on lets sit" we sat on a table nearby I ordered our usual orders 2      hazelnut café with brown bread paneer sandwiches. We went on talking for almost 2 hours I was not able to speak up what was in my heart rather I was so hypnotised in her talks that I didn't feel like interrupting suddenly she said " Husku"(that was nickname that she called me with I loved it.) I said  "yes elasto" she got a little nervous held my hand and said "Husku,I am leaving for United States forever next month I am so happy I am selected as best teen social critic and have got scholarship in NY university thank god I am not committed at all I couldn't have achieved this with all that shit relationship etc." her words made me realise she was a free bird she didn't want to get caged up in any kind of commitment at all. While leaving I hugged her and said that I'll be in your touch she left with a big smile on her face and tears in my heart. After that meeting with her my life and perception about love changed I realised that
"I loved her not because of what she was but because of what I was when I was with her."
After a month she flew to State's and all I was left with were her sweet memories and a smiling good bye
This is how my love remained concealed buried down somewhere deep in a huge grave of feelings and her freedom.

Best Friends

Best friends I really know how convoluted those words mean best friends are some one whom we adore a lot ,whose nurturing is what makes our lives heal up from squeamish wounds of universe. Best friends are always there for us may it be our breakup to our first proposal.

We hadn't met since childhood but over the past year she was the one who knew my each and every move. She encouraged me a lot at my lows,tolerated my over dubious thinking,laughed along with me even for my unpropitious jokes. And now sometimes i think that will this awesome friendship last forever because its going to be too painful to loose this friendship. Yes definitely I cannot write about her more because words will fall short even if I go on writing.

Well best friend does mean a lot in our life and this is my way of expressing gratitude to my best friend may be for life        

Few lines for my friend

Thank you for being there for me;    
Giving your shadow in scorching heat like a banyan tree.                                
Words fell apart writing for you ;
Because friends like you are not even few.
Not telling you anything lie;
you've been there for me in my every sigh.
Hope that I keep your bond;
Because this is the friendship of which I am fond.  
Another thing I hope to do;  
To die as your bestie in a grave near to you.      
Braveheart

MY FIGHT WITH DEATH

 It has been a long time since I Have been writing but somehow I haven't yet wrote anything about my real life off lately I have been thinking of the same as of what should I write because till date there are many things to write,mention,describe about in my life. So in between these meticulous thoughts I started to remember toughest days of my life days I was struggling with my life almost close to death.
September 2010 
Ganeshotsav had just ended up a few days back,today I was feeling feverish rather too much feverish I checked my temperature 101.00 beeped I was not tensed but don't know why something vulnerable was pestering my mind this fever ain't normal fever I didn't have had fever since past 4 years and suddenly 101 I told my Mom being a doctor she gave me high dose antibiotics I slept that day to get up directly next day 6 am for my classes being in 12th Classes meant a lot the moment I got up mom chucked in thermometer 102 it beeped at 102.00 degree f I looked up at mom in melancholy "you will be fine" she said while piercing me with injection syringe
this process went on for next 15 days get up check temperature always above 100 degree f.Mom became furious took me for tests cbc,blood routine,malarial virus,dengue tests etc all reports were normal still fever was not going off again after 15 days mom took me for tests by this time I was so used to syringes taking injections daily that they didn't hurt me.To our surprise tests were again normal well may be my fever was psychological that's what everyone thought,may be he is stressing too much on his 12th standard my teacher's thought.
It was almost October 20 my fever wasn't leaving my body by now it was a part of my daily routine to take tablets And injections to feel better for few hours.October 20th my mom had by now took me to every lab possible did every blood test possible nothing was showing up in them.
November 6 both my parents were in a disquiet state they themselves being doctors had never seen such a case till now. My dad decided to take me up for higher level tests C.T SCAN and MRI both tests are kind of short trip to hell a colour dye is injected in your body parts and made to churn it literally gives a burning feel as if your internal body was set on fire all this so that any form of malfunction is visible.
MRI tests confirmed that I had an enlarged lymph gland right below my shoulder almost about to touch my left axillary of heart. Further reports suggested that it could be malignant(cancerous) and needle biopsy was suggested biopsy is a test in which they extract some material from your body part showing signs of harmful behaviour through a needle they tried to do my needle biopsy on 7th November 4 times but no needle was able to pierce in my gland as it had went in deep.
Surgical biopsy was suggested to be done in short surgery to remove that gland and get it tested for any malfunction in my case may be cancer
8th November decision day    
Dr Akerkar same doctor who was there for my birth at my time was going to operate me, guy who brought me out of my mom's womb was going to remove perilous gland from my body and the day of operation was 9th November not even 24 hours were given to me for thinking anything about it Of course mom and dad's influence played a major role in quick surgery schedule but this was too quick and I knew life will be hard if cancer is detected in me.
9th November
It could be my last day on this earth what if I die during surgery?,what if I don't get another day to live?,all these unnecessary thoughts were ploughing through my head when nurse was injecting me with penicillin and 3 more injections my body had became so habitual to injections since past 3 months dozens of tests,3 injections daily,needle biopsy it didn't hurt anymore within next 15 mins I was in operation theatre and was given anasthesia full body anasthesia when I woke up glands were removed from my body blood drain was piped in my underarm which I was supposed to carry along for next one month and I had 12 stitches. Glands were so big and just about to touch my heart if they weren't removed they could have stuck there and would cause severe heart damage.My enlarged lymph glands were sent to Hinduja Hospital for testing test results were negative for cancer but it detected Kikuchi Fujimoto Lymphadenitis rarest of Japanese virus Which if not cured can cause artery failure I had to continue my treatment for next 3 months again 5 injections daily anti nuclear antigen tests every 15 days my studies were put aside my college teachers supported me a lot giving me extra time for journals and of course my friends Vedant ,Neel ,Arathi ,karan and all other mates helped me to full by providing me with notes,exam papers and journals I completed them on bed itself with my blood drain I was fighting with kikuchi the day I entered college directly was on my board exam    practicals day by that time my blood drain was removed even my stitches but I had no mock exam practice,no preliminary exam many people thought I am going to score low may be even fail.
But I managed my exams somehow and result shocked every one I had scored 78.67 percentage I didn't study at all for almost 4 months was bed ridden By may 2011 I had defeated kikuchi fujimoto and was in good health after having hundreds of injections taking don't know how many pills I did manage to live.
With this blog I thank all people who helped in my this fight my friends, my relatives and above all my parent's and doctors who helped me recover fast.

Misconceptions about her

I was sitting on a bench waiting for speech by Mr Anuj chairman of summit I had never thought that I will be hearing a story which made him more strong about good work and peace his speech began and I was surprised that even after getting badly treated in teens  by a girl he grew up to be great person    
Speech began.
"Hello friends you are in your teens today I wont give any speech  I will tell you a story a story that made my intent more strong to work for goodwill and peace. It's about myself and a girl I was friends with.Everyone of you has a friend who is a girl and surely girls do become best friends.I thought the same but being friend with her was my biggest mistake surely I liked her she was sweet ,helping ,had a good attitude towards life but all this thinking of mine was scrapped about her.
       A few years ago when I was 18
I called her up "hello" her voice tuned up in my ears I said "hello Geeta, this is Anuj"."yes I know "she replied we talked up for almost a hour after that I felt like I was talking with the most sensible girl in the world topics of discussion went from school days,habits and thoughts. This conversation bought me to a conclusion that she was sensitive and can be a great friend .
   She gained respect in my heart may be too much of it I made sure I greeted her every day by text made my calls occasionally regular once in 15 days or so always asked up weather I was annoying her and always got reply "no don't be silly why will you annoy me".It was like I was about to find a great friend .
Suddenly one fine day I found the tides Turning she stopped replying one fine day she blocked me on enquiring about her to her friends I got to know that my respect was accounted as flirting my politeness as being cheesy.
    All my conceptions went wrong my goodwill was taken as granted it did hurt me a lot but this wont change me because Jesus has said "one should never stop good way of talking, thinking and treating even if world hurts you back".  So my friends never change your good behaviour even if you are taken wrong for it.  
Today in this all world peace and good work summit I Anuj Chauhan conclude my short story and thank you for choosing me as a chairman of this summit."
This was one of the best speeches I ever heard .

Ambition for him

AMBITION FOR HIM

  As I was eating my last piece of pistachio mum yelled how much will you have at a time .   
This line suddenly brought in tons of memories I had with my oldest friend krish how close we were had same birth dates were born in same hospital our parents were best of friends rest I don’t think lines, words, texts would be enough to describe the friendship we shared
He left for USA after 8th grade and left this world around 4 years back. He became the reason for my ambition.
4 years back while returning from U.S.A to Mumbai for vacations suddenly a A707 crashed somewhere near Indian ocean in between India and Srilanka due to major loss of pressurization in aircraft mainly a maintenance fault that shock made me realise that the only thing I can do to make up for my friends loss is not to make anyone else suffer the same
This is how my heart became passionate for becoming the best aircraft engineer. Best of all time
Some ambitions are not only for status,money or pleasures mine is for saving all those lovely friends for whom somebody is waiting at arrival on airport

                                    FRIENDS FOREVER
We sat together on bench during our school periods played together and today she was no more no more in this world
World had changed since our grade 10 we lost contact with each other texts got dried up eventually we weren't in touch my childhood friend Nirjara who knew me since the time I ran spilling food all over my house with her learnt walking, cycling together we were "friends forever" were we ?is what my mind asks when I think of how we weren't together when she was bidding bye to this world 
It had been a year we didn't meet each other suddenly a day I got a call on my cell "hello  beta  this is Nirjara's mother sad to inform you she's no more she died last month" I was shocked like earth beneath me had cracked I went crying over phone to her mother "but how?"I was shaken from the core to hear the reason and the place "beta she died in an accident off Don Bosco street in front of your house, she didn't get to hospital on time and was stranded for 1 hour  and died due to blood loss ." I asked with tears"why didn't she call me."aunty replied she didn't have your number beta.
That's the day I decided I will be friends forever be in touch no matter what with all your friends
Keep loving them keep talking to them because sometimes silence can be forever